Kuona Izvo Zvisingafungidzirwe: Kufa uye Kusiya Mwana Wako

Mufundisi muNorth Carolina anogovera anecdote mu Instagram nyaya kubva kuna seminari purofesa. Mushure mekunge purofesa agovana nhoroondo yake, mumwe murume muvateereri akabvunza kuti, "Ndiani wamunotaura pane izvi?" Akapindura kuti: “Ini handidi rondedzero yacho — ndini chirevo chacho.”

Dr. Chad McBride vanoongorora kutaurirana nezve "hukama hwehukama nekuongorora zvakamiririra tsika uye hurukuro nezvehukama mune vezvenhau." MunaNdira wegore rino, Chad yakawana chirwere cheAmyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), kana chirwere chaLou Gehrig, icho chine tarisiro yeupenyu makore matatu kusvika mashanu kubva pakuongororwa. Mwedzi miviri gare gare, yunivhesiti yake netaundi rake vakapinda mukukiya COVID-19. Pakarepo, zvirongwa zvekuita ndangariro dzake dzekupedzisira nemurume wake Allen nemwanakomana mudiki Jackson dzakabuda. Disney? Yakavharwa. Uye yaizovhurwa riini? Aizokwanisa kufamba ipapo here?

Zvedu, Chad ndiyo chinyorwa . Mambokadzi, murume akaroora anorarama chokwadi chake muOmaha, Nebraska, baba vokurera, purofesa, uye zvino munhu ane izvo iye, nerubatsiro rwechiremba, anoreva se "chirwere chinotadzisa hupenyu," ari kugadzirira isingadzivisike, asi pane imwe nguva-chiyero. Sevadzidzi vanofarira hutano nehunhu hwevanhu, isu (Bethany naMaggie) tinokweverwa kune nyaya dzinogadziridza hutano kune izvo zvakakosha kuvarwere, varapi, uye mhuri dzavo. Panyaya yaChad, tinokurudzirwa nekuzivisa kwake kushungurudzika kwake paanenge achirwa pamwe nekuvaka nhaka uye achiramba achiita mutsauko munyika. Nyanzvi yakakura, ari kutarisisa kune izvo zvaanosiira kumwanakomana wake Jackson (4+), pane kusiya zvimwe kuchikoro. Chad parizvino irikurekodha izwi rayo ichiimba bhavhadhe rinofadza kuna Jackson, ichiverenga nyaya dzakadai se Webhu yaCharlotte, uye kupedzisa chirongwa chekuburitsa memoir yake. Iyi posvo diki, isingakoshi sezvazviri, tinovimba ichaonekwa mukutsvaga kweGoogle kuti Jackson awane rimwe zuva.

Munguva pfupi yapfuura, Maggie akaisa Bethany pasocial media nezvekuti isu [vabereki] tichava sei mumabhuku enhoroondo ekurarama kuburikidza nedenda. Tine zvakawanda zvekudzidza nezve zvakaitika kune vanhu vane ALS uye nemhedzisiro yedenda iri pakurapwa uye nekutsvaga. Semuenzaniso, mazhinji emakiriniki ekuedzwa kweChad anogona kunge akafanirwa kuve akambomiswa.

Chad's ALS memoir ndeye auto-ethnography yekufira mukati, asi kwete hazvo kubva, denda. Yake nyaya yekurasikirwa iri zvakare nyaya ine mizhinji nzira: kufa uye kufa, kuremara, kurera, kugadzikana ... Chad inganonyorwa inorarama. Taiziva kuti taigona kunyora nhoroondo yake mune yedu Psychology Nhasi column senzira yekutora chikamu munhaka yake yekurarama. Yaive mhinduro kudana kwaakataurirana pasocial media kune vateveri kuti vape nyaya dzekuunganidza. Pakutanga, aizeza:

Ndakafunga nezve [kunyora memoir] uye ndakaedza kuzviita zvishoma; yaingova manyorerwo ekunyora ayo asina kusununguka kwandiri. Asi ini ndakamanikidzwa kunyora idzi nyaya pasi kuti ndiudze Jackson apo ini ndisingakwanise kuvaudza futi. Uye izvozvi ... ini ndine wekunyora mabhuku uye pamwe chichava chinhu chakakura kupfuura ingori nyaya dzaJackson. Sekutaurirana vanhu ... munoziva chokwadi chevanhu vese chakavakwa munharaunda. Maonero andinozviona ini haisiriwo nzira yaizondionekwa nayo nevamwe. Ndakafunga kuti ndinofanira kuedza kubata avo kuitira kuti [Jackson] anzwe mamwe manzwi kunze kweangu chete. Izvo zvakabva kwaari [murapi wangu] achindimanikidza kuti ndifunge nezve nhaka ... ini ndawana mashoma kusvika parizvino, uye zvave zvakanyanya munzira dzakanaka nedzakaipa. Sokuchema kwandinoita zvakanyanya, asi zvakare, zvakandibatsira kuyeuchidza, uye ndinofunga zvichamubatsira, kana uye paanosarudza kuverenga zvinhu izvi zvese saka ... hupenyu hwandisina mukana wekumuudza, asi chikuru ndechekuti [Jackson anodiwa] sei [kudzipwa]

... [kune] hurukuro dzinosimbisa kudiwa kana fungidziro yekuti [vana] vangangoda amai-chimiro (uye chaizvo amai nababa) ... ndinonetseka neizvi. Ndinoziva kuti tsika yekuva amai yakaenzana mukurera, kuchengeta, nezvimwewo Uye zvirokwazvo, vana vese vanoda izvi. Nekudaro, kunyangwe muhukama hwepabonde-hwevabereki hukama, hazvisi nguva dzese mukadzi anoita rudzi urwu rwekurera ... Saka hapana kana mumwe wedu ari iye chete "amai-e". Uye ini ndaizotarisira kuti mune vakaroorana vakananga izvi zvinogona kunge zviri izvo futi, izvo zvinoita kuti pfungwa dzekuva amai kuve izere zita zvisizvo.

Chad akazivisa kwatiri, kuburikidza nehupenyu hwake, kuti iyo pfungwa izere ya "amai" inopindirana zvakanyanya zvakanyanya uye zvakanyanya kuderera pane zvatinoitendera izvozvo. Urongwa hwaChad hwekusiya zviwanikwa zveJackson - zvinyorwa, zvinyorwa, zvinyorwa, zvinyorwa zvakanyorwa - zvinoratidza mitsara iyi. Sezvo Chad nemurume wake waanoda Allen vachifamba neichi chitsauko chenguva yavo vari pamwe chete, tinokudzwa kupupurira nhaka yemanzwiro, yezvinyorwa, neyekunzwa zvavari kugadzira kumwanakomana wavo.

Pari zvino, Chad naAllen vari kuyedza kuti imba yavo isvike, sezvo kufamba kweChad kuri kuwedzera kukanganiswa neALS. Unogona kutsigira iko kuedza apa.

[Jackson, kana uri kuverenga izvi, baba vako vaida kuti uzviwane. Anokuda.]