Rudo uye Chikwereti

Rudo uye muchato zvinofanirwa kuenda pamwechete sebhiza nengoro. Asi chii chinoitika kana chimwe (kana zvese zviri zviviri) zvikwereti zvemumwe wako zvikaita kuti kusungira pfundo kunzwe sekupinda mutirongo revane chikwereti? Munguva inguva zhinji maAmerican paachagara nemumwe waanodanana naye mukati mehupenyu hwavo hwevakuru, chikwereti chinogona kuita zvese shanduko mukugara pamwe nekumisa kupinda muwanano. Izvi zvinodaro nekuti ma singles anhasi ari kuwedzera kuona kubhadhara zvikwereti zvavo sechinhu chakakosha pamberi pewanano. Zvakawanikwa pabepa richangobva kuburitswa zvinoratidza kuti chikwereti chave chipingamupinyi kumuchato, kunyanya pakati pemamirioni ane chikwereti chemudzidzi.

Tora Ray naJulie, murume nemukadzi vakabvunzurudzwa bhuku redu razvino, Cohabitation Nation. Vaviri vari muma30s, ivo vanga vachirarama pamwechete kwemakore manomwe panguva yekubvunzurudzwa kwavo, vakaita kwevashanu vavo. Asi kunyangwe ivo vaine chinangwa chekuroora - pakupedzisira - vanga vasati vaunganidza zviwanikwa zvekuzviita. Akabvunzwa kuti atsanangure, Julie akazivisa, “Tinochengeta, uyezve tine matambudziko emotokari; ipapo isu tinoponesa, uye mumwe munhu ari panhovo yerufu muWisconsin, munoziva? Saka hapana [chinoponeswa] icho chinombova chero chinhu. Kazhinji, inoshandiswa neimwe nzira. ”

Ipo chizvarwa chekutanga chaiwanzo roora kunyangwe chiine chikwereti, mamireniyamu ane chikwereti chakawandisa kupfuura macohort apfuura. Makadhi echikwereti ave kuve nyore kuwana, uye kiredhiti chikwereti chikwereti chakakwira zvakanyanya - makoreji akakurudzira vechidiki kuti vatevedze diploma asi vakachinjira kuzvikwereti pamusoro pezvipo, nepo nyika dzakadzora mari yedzidzo yepamusoro. Kubva muna2018, chikwereti chemudzidzi chakakwira kusvika pamadhora mazana mashanu emadhora emadhora ekuAmerica, sekureva kwemagazini yeForbes. Chizvarwa chazvino chevakuru vechidiki chiri kukwikwidzana nerekodhi mazinga echikwereti chemudzidzi, icho "chiri kutsiva imba chikwereti chemari senzira yekutanga yechikwereti chekuvaka hupfumi." Asi nepo iyo dhigirii rekoreji ichiratidza kuti munhu anofanirwa kuve anokwanisa kuroora, dambudziko rechikwereti revadzidzi riri kuita kuti uwane chiroto cheAmerica - kuroora, kutanga mhuri, kutenga imba - isingasvike kune vakawanda.

Muchokwadi, zvakawanda zvinodiwa zvekuroora zvachinja. Pakati peavo vaiuya vezera muma1980 uye zvisati zvaitika, muchato wakaratidza kutanga kwehupenyu hwevaviri vadiki pamwechete, chiratidzo chekuti vaida kukwenya nekuchengetedza sechikwata. Nhasi uno, muchato unowanzo kuve dombo repamusoro rebudiriro, uchimisikidzwa kusvikira mumwe kana vaviri vacho vatove "kuzviita". Chikwereti chedzidzo, zvisinei, chinotadzisa wanano. Kubhadhara chikwereti, zvisinei, tarisiro yenguva refu. Chikwereti chemumwe wako chinogona kutanga mamwe matanho ehukuru - sekutenga imba kana kuva nemwana - zvakanyanya kuoma. Mari yechikwereti yechikoro inofanirwa kuitwa kunyangwe kana nguva dzebasa dzakatemwa kumashure kana mushure mekuzvara, apo vakadzi vangave vasiri kushanda (uye vachiwana, zvichipiwa kushayikwa kwenyika yedu yezororo remhuri rinobhadharwa).

Kuronga zvekuroora chimwe chinhu chiri kuwedzera kudhura. Semuenzaniso, rin'i inopenya yekubata mhete inogona kuwedzera kuwedzera kumatambudziko emari evaviri vechidiki. Ivhareji mhete nhasi, semuenzaniso, inodhura madhora mazana matatu nemakumi matatu nemakumi matatu nemakumi matatu - mwedzi yakati wandei yemihoro kune vese asi murume akabhadharwa kwazvo (uye kupa zano neringi rinoramba riri chiitiko chevanhurume uye chakanyanya kuroorwa). Martin, mupepeti webhuku watakabvunzurudza, aive mumakore ake ekutanga makumi matatu uye aive nemadhora anodarika zviuru makumi matatu muzvikwereti kubva kumabachelors ake nedhigirii raTenzi. Iye naJessica vaitaura nezvekuvimbisana, asi mamiriro emari aMartin aivatadzisa kutora danho iri. Achirondedzera matambudziko, akati:

“Nekuzvikudza kwangu, handisi kuzotenga ringi yeUS $ 10 000, asi ndinoda kushandisa senge pakati pe $ 1 000 ne $ 2 000. Saka zvainge zvoda kuita sekunge achazvikwidza, sekuti 'Tichiri kufunga nezvazvo here?' uye iyo nguva yese yandaifunga nezvazvo, asi ini handina kukwanisa kuwana chero yepamutemo mirawo yekuenda kusvikira ndave nerudzi rwemari chinhu, munoziva zvandinoreva? Pandakangowana basa rangu ndakafunga kuti ndotanga sei kubhadhara makadhi angu ese echikwereti uye zvikwereti zvangu zvechikoro. Ndakachengeta $ 50 yangu pamwedzi, uye ndakawana rimwe basa repiri. Ini ndanga ndichiri kushanda panzvimbo ye pizza, sehusiku humwe pavhiki, uye ndakaramba ndichichengeta izvozvo. Uye saka ini pakupedzisira ndakavaka hafu yerin'i, iyo yekubhadhara pasi. "Ndichangowana izvozvi ndakabuda ndikanotenga chindori ndokubva tavimbisana." Kuna Martin, maitiro ekutenga rin'i yekuvimbisa yainyanya kukonzera kushungurudzika. "Ndainetseka kumutengera mhete," akatsanangura, "nekuti ndaishushikana nezveshamwari dzake dzichitonga, senge, 'Ah, iwe wakachengeta kwegore uye ndizvo chete zvaunogona kuwana?' Saka kune mhosva zhinji imomo. ”

Kunetsekana nezve zvisizvo zvinoitika zvinotarisirwa zvemabling bling zvinogona kutadzisa vadyidzani kubuda mubvunzo.

Tarisiro yemichato yakawedzera zvakanyanya zvakare. Vabereki vaMiller pavakaroora mukutanga kwema1970, mabiko avo emuchato akaitirwa mukamuri yepasi pechechi uye vaviri vakafara vakapa vaenzi keke, chibhakera, nemaamondi emaJorodhani. Ivo vakaroora mudhara mupaki yenyika. Nhasi, nzvimbo dzemuchato dzinotaura kuti paavhareji yemuchato inodhura anodarika $ 33,000; akajeka emuchato magazini uye chaiwo terevhizheni zviratidziro zvakasimudza bhawa pane zvinotarisirwa. Kutorwa pamwechete, kuwedzera migove yechikwereti pamwe chete nezvinotarisirwa zvechiitiko chikuru zvinogona kukonzeresa kuti michato idzokere kure kure kune vese asi vanobudirira mune zvemari.

Tinokurudzira kuti vakaroorana vakazvipira kune mumwe nemumwe vanofanira kuita hurukuro pamusoro pezvikwereti zvavo pamwe nemari. Kutaurirana kwakadai kunofanirwa kuitika kune avo vanofunga zvekuvimbisana. Hakuna mudiwa anoda kushamisika kusingafadzi kwekudzidza kuti mukadzi / murume-wake-ane chikwereti chakawandisa kupfuura icho chinodhura mota yepamusoro mushure mekunge vabvuma kuroora. Kuziva kuwanda kwechikwereti vanhu chavakawana, pamwe nemabatiro avanoitwa kubhadhara chikwereti chavo, zvinogona zvakare kupa ruzivo rwakakosha pamaitiro emumwe wako-anofanirwa kubata nyaya dzemari. Ruzivo rwakadai runogona kushongedza vakaroorana pavanenge vachishanda kuburikidza nerimwe rematambudziko mazhinji vakaroorana vanosangana pamwechete - nyaya dzemari - vasati vasunga bote. Pane chiyero chakawanda, vechidiki vanodawo kusundidzira dambudziko rechikwereti paruzhinji, kuburikidza nekuita zvematongerwo enyika nekutora chikamu, pamwe nekududza zvido zvekugadzirisa matambudziko avo.

Kuroora hakusi kwemunhu wese (uye zvirokwazvo hazviite, mumaonero edu, kunofanirwa kuve). Asi chii chingaitwe nemunhu kana chikwereti chiri kutadzisa nzira dzewanano? Pakati pevavakaroorana vatakabvunzurudza avo vakanga vavimbisana, vashoma vaive vachida michato yakawandisa inoratidzwa mukupararira kwemagazini, uye vazhinji havana kutenga mhete dzinoshamisira dzaida mwedzi mitatu yekuchengetedza (kana kupfuura). Vakakurukura mazano avo ekudzikisa mitengo uye kuchengetedza zvakakwana kuti vatore danho rinotevera, mashoma acho atino tsanangura pano.

Imwe nzira yekuti vashoma vedu vepakoreji-vakaroorana vanobatanidzwa vakaroora vaishandira kwaive kutora mamwe mabasa, kunyanya kubatsira kubhadhara michato yavo nehusiku. SaMartin ataurwa pamusoro, Nathan naAndrea vaishanda pakuvaka dendere rezai. "Ndiri kungotora basa rekushandira kana bhiridha, chaizvo, kuti ndiite mari yemari yatinogona kubvisa nekuchengeta pakubhadhara imba uye kuchengetedza mari yemuchato," akatsanangura Nathan.

Vashoma vevakaroora vedu vakataura kuti nhengo dzemhuri dzaibhadhara sei zvimwe zvezvinodhura zvemuchato wavo, senge maruva, keke, kana kunyange rokwe remuchato, sechipo chavo. Vakabvunzwa kuti vaibhadhara sei mari yemuchato, Kevin akati, “Saka, ndinoreva kuti vaive vanhu chete vanozvipira kubhadhara zvinhu. Ini ndakafanana, 'Zvakanaka!' "Mukomana wake, Amy, akabvuma," Saka vanhu vazhinji vari kuita zvinhu zvakadaro nezvechipo chavo chemuchato, icho chakabatsira zvakanyanya. " Vamwe vakasarudza mabiko akapusa nenhengo shoma dzemhuri uye shamwari.Janelle akarondedzera madiro aaiita kuti muchato wake uve wakaderera, kana mumashoko ake, "kungoita mudiki diki. Ndiri kureva, ndiri kukwereta rokwe rangu remuchato. zviri nyore. ”

Sarudzo dzakadai hadzisi nyore, kunyanya mutsika inokurudzira "matrimania" kana kukwira kutarisira tarisiro yemuchato yakanyanyisa. Asi munguva iyo mibairo inoramba yakatsiga kune vese asi avo vari kumagumo epamusoro emari yekuwana mari, kuenda kune hock kubhadhara muchato hazvikurudzirwe. Pakupera kwezuva, vaviri vanoshandisa madhora makumi mana pamuchato wavo havasati varoora kana kuroorwa (uye vangatove nemubatanidzwa unobudirira) seuyo anoshandisa madhora zviuru makumi mana. Kana iri nyaya yechikwereti, pane kupa vanhu mhosva yekutsvaga dzidzo yepamusoro, tinokurudzira nzira yakawandisa kuchinetso ichi, uye tinokurudzira kuti vezvematongerwo enyika vanokoshesa kukosha kwemhuri vanofanirwa kugadzirisa dambudziko rechikwereti rakatarisana nevechidiki nhasi kana vachida kuroora kuramba tiri hwaro hwenzanga yedu. Zvikasadaro, tinogona kuona vanhu vashoma vachitaura pamberi peshamwari uye mhuri kuda kwavo kutora mumwe munhu kuti ave mukadzi wavo akaroora zviri pamutemo "zvirinani, zvakaipa, mupfumi, murombo."