Maitiro Ekufunga Zvakarongeka Nezve Ukama Hwako

Kufunga kwehurongwa kunogona kuburitsa zvakati wandei nezve izvo zviri kuitika uye zvekuita nezvazvo, asi sekufunga maitiro, zvakatosiyana nekufunga kufunga nezvehunhu uye hunhu uye zvakanyanya kuoma kudzidza pane, toti, psychoanalytic kana kugona-kufunga kufunga . Iwo akakosha maficha ehurongwa hwekufunga ayo anoita kuti zvive zvakaoma kudzidza ndiko kusakosha kwehunhu, iko kusimbisa pane chinangwa, uye maonero evanhu seakadzikwa mumambure ehukama kwete sevanozvimirira.

Dzidziso yekushanduka-shanduka inoti kusiyanisa kwemajini kunosarudzwa nemhedzisiro. Maitiro ekuzvibata anoti kusiyanisa maitiro kwakasarudzwa nemhedzisiro inosanganisira zvese zvipenyu uye kudzidza mibairo kana kusavapo kwavo. Sisitimu dzidziso inoti hunhu hunosarudzwa nemhedzisiro yadzo pane akakodzera masisitimu, kusanganisira mibairo asiwo kusanganisa kushanda kwesystem. Nekudaro, musikana anotyora nguva yekudzoka kumba nekuti inonakidza asi zvakanyanya, pamwe, nekuti zvinotungamira kuvabereki vake kuita muhurukuro.

Kufunga kwakarongeka kunopesana nedzidziso yakajeka yekuti tinozvibata sezvatinoita nekuda kwezvinangwa zvedu, dzidziso yatinowanzodzidziswa sevana. Iyi yechinyakare psychology inosanganisirwawo mumutauro wedu, uko zvidzidzo zvinotyaira mhedzisiro nezviito. Thermostat "haizive" kuti iri kutonhora uye haina "kusarudza" kuvhura vira zvakare, sezvinei, murume "anoziva" ari kutorwa seasina basa uye "afunga" kutamba nemumwe mukadzi.

Pfupiso yehurongwa hwesystem ndeyekuti vanhu vanotsanangura mamiriro uye hukama hwavari maringe nemabatiro anoita tsanangudzo dzakasiyana siyana pakuita kuti sisitimu ifambe zvakanaka, uko "zvakatsetseka" pachayo kunotsanangurwa zvinoenderana nedudziro yemamiriro ezvinhu. Semuenzaniso, musasa webhutsu unofamba mushe kana vakatorwa vakaneta uye nekutyisidzirwa uye vakasungwa kune mumwe nemumwe zvakabatana, uye muchato unotsanangurwa semusasa webhuti uchasanganisira mumwe munhu achihukura mirairo uye mumwe munhu achibvumirana pasi pemirairo. Muchato unotsanangurwa senzvimbo yekunamata unozofamba mushe kana vaviri vacho vakadzora kushamwaridzana nevamwe uye vasingambopikisane.

Izvo zvinobatsira kukudziridza mazwi emhando yemichato kunze kwevanhu vanobatanidzwa. "Yekupedzisira nyaya yerudo," "duel kusvika kurufu," uye "chikoro cheparochial" yese michato yandakaona. Izvo zvinogona zvakare kubatsira kushandisa yakatarwa michato kutsanangura zviri kuitika. "Tinokweverwa kuPetruchio naKate, asi tinoramba tichitsvedza muOthello neDesdemona." "Unoda kuva Monica naTom Selleck kana Monica naChandler?"

Pamusoro pazvose, kufunga zvine hungwaru kunotora hunhu kunze kweiyo equation. Hunhu hunotungamira kumifungo yakaita seiyi, “Wangu mumwe wangu akashata, uye ini ndakachena; mumwe wangu anofanira kushambidzika. ” Kufunga kwakarongeka kunotungamira kumifungo yakaita seiyi, "Mumwe wangu anoda hukama, uye ini ndinoda imba yekudyara. Hmmm. ” Panzvimbo pekufunga mumwe wako haakuremekedze, zvine mutsindo mumwe angafunga kuti mumwe wako arikuedza kusimudzira imwe tsananguro yehukama (kaputeni nevashandi? Mota dzinobhururuka? .

Iyo crux yemaitiro angu ekurapa kwevaviri inoenderana apa. Zvisinei nezvinotambudzwa nevaviri ava, uye zvisinei nemaonero edzidziso andinosarudza, chinhu chimwe chete chandiri kugara ndichiita kuitirana mabatiro avo uye kunyanya zvavanotaurirana. Kana mumwe wavo akataura chimwe chinhu chinondirova seyakanyora tsamba, ini ndinoita chiratidzo che "time-out". Ini ndinotaura chimwe chinhu senge, "Ndiyo here matauriro anoita mukadzi kune (kana nezve) mukadzi / kana mukadzi kumukadzi kana chero chii?" Kana vakati kwete, ndinokoka munhu kuti ayedze zvakare, panguva ino achitaura sezvinoita mumwe (kana nezve) mumwe wako.

Kana vakati hongu, ini ndinogona kukwidza mimwe isingatarisirwe mhedzisiro yerudzi rwemuchato wavari kuita. (Semuenzaniso, kana muchato ukaitwa sekireshi, ndinogona kutaura kuti hapana bonde rakawanda pakati pevadzidzisi vekireshi nevakireshi.) Kana vasingabvumirane nezvekuti chirevo ichi chakange chakanangana nemabasa ehukama, saka tinotaura nezvazvo .

Vakaroorana vanogona kubatsirwa nechiratidzo chenguva. Ngwarira kuti usashandise kana mumwe wako akataura chimwe chinhu chausingawirirani nacho; chishandise chete kana iwe usingawirirane nenzira yavakazvitaura nayo. Wobva wataura nezve rudzii rwehukama nzira yavo yekutaura inosimudzira uye kuti ndeupi hukama hwehukama iwe vaviri iwe hwaunoda kuve nahwo.

Kana pasina chimwe chinhu, hushamwari, yekudyidzana nguva-yekubuda nzvimbo ichave nzvimbo yakanaka yekubatanidzazve. Ehezve, iyo nguva-yekubuda chiratidzo inofanirwa kushandiswa pakutanga kwekusafamba nhanho. Kana iwe ukaregeredza kekutanga nguva iwe yaunotaurwa senge iwe uri we kindergartner, iwe ungango pindura zvehuhwana, uyezve nenguva yaunoita chiratidzo chenguva-yekubuda, iwe uri mukurwa kwakazara. Zvakadaro, kana zvinhu zvadzikama, unogona kuyedza kutsvaga pamwe chete apo vaviri vacho vakabuda munjanji yemuchato ndokupinda munzira yekushatirwa, uye iwe unogona kuongorora zvakanakira kushevedzera nguva-nguva kana zvinhu zvatanga.

Pamusoro pekutora nguva-yekufamba uye kutaura zvinhu pamusoro (izvo zvinodaidzwa kunzi "metacommunication"), iwe unogona zvakare kutora matanho ekusimudzira mhando yemuchato waunoda kuve mairi pane kusaziva uchiita mhando yemuchato wausingade be in. Iyo yekupedzisira inowanzo kutora mhando dzedenderedzwa rinotyisa. Semuenzaniso, muchikoro cheparochial-chechikoro, mukadzi anoita humhandara kana kupopotera, uye murume anonyepedzera kunge anochengetwa asi achiramba achiputika vechidiki. Kuputika kwake kwekuyaruka kunogona kumuita kuti anzwe sekumupopotera, uye zvinopesana, uye vese vanoita kune mumwe pane kusimudzira muchato wavanoda.

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