Unofanira Kuzvida Iwe Pamwe Chete Pane Mumwe Munhu Anga?

Pane dzidziso yakajairika yekuti, kuti ude vamwe zvechokwadi, unofanira kutanga kuzvida iwe. Kuti uve nehukama hunofadza uye hune hutano nevamwe, kunyanya muhukama hwepabonde, kufunga kunoenda, vanhu vanofanira kutanga vatenda izvozvo ivo vanhu vanodikanwa vane kukosha ivo pachavo. Chokwadi, zvikoro zvese zvekufunga mune ekurapa marongero mukati mepfungwa zvave kutarisana nezano chairo, senge munhu ane hutano hwekurapa uye zvine hungwaru-hwekutapira kurapa.

Zvinorevei kuzvida nenzira isingabatsire iwe chete semunhu asiwo hukama hwako nehukama? Vatsvakurudzi vagara vakatarisa kumatunhu akakwirira e kuzvitemba senzira yekutanga iyo vanhu vanonzwa kunakirwa nezvayo. Sezvakakurukurwa muzvinyorwa zvakapfuura apa, zvakakwirira zvichienzaniswa nematanho akaderera ekuzviremekedza kazhinji anofungidzira vanhu vachitsvaga padyo nekubatana muhukama hwavo hwepamoyo, kunyanya kana vachitarisana nemamiriro ezvinhu anotyisidzira (Murray, Holmes, & Collins, 2006).

Asi kuzviremekedza kunogona kuve chikomborero chakasanganiswa kana zvasvika kune hukama. Kunyanya, kumusoro kuzviremekedza, kunyangwe kwakabatana nehunhu hwakanaka hwehukama, hunongobatana nehukama hwehukama hwese (Campbell & Baumeister, 2004). Vanhu vanogona kunyatsozvibata zvine hungwaru kuhukama hwehukama pavanonzwa kuti avo vavakarovera vakatyisidzira kuzviremekedza kwavo neimwe nzira (kureva, kuvatuka).

Saka vamwe vanhu vangagona sei kunzwa zvakanaka nezve ivo izvo hazviiti unouya pamwe nenjodzi dzekuzviremekedza kwepamusoro? Munguva pfupi yapfuura, vaongorori vakatanga kuongorora imwe mhando yakati siyanei yekuzvida, inonzi kuzvidzora , seimwe nzira sosi yezvakanaka yekuzvinzwa-kwako kunogona kubatsirwa kudanana uye kusiri-kudanana hukama zvakafanana. Kuzvinzwira tsitsi kunosanganisira kuzvitarisa-kusanganisira zvaunokanganisa- nemutsa uye kugamuchirwa, uye kusanyanya kukoshesa kana kuzivikanwa nemanzwiro asina kunaka. Zvinosanganisira kubvuma kubatana kwako kune vamwe vazhinji vari munyika vangave vanga vari kwauri ikozvino pane imwe nguva muhupenyu hwavo (Neff, 2003). Kuzvinzwira urombo kunowanzo sungwa zvakanaka kune mumwe munhu kushanda kwepfungwa. Inobatanidzwa nemanzwiro ehupenyu hwakanaka; vanozvinzwira tsitsi vanhu vanotaura kumwe kufara, tariro, kugutsikana kwehupenyu, uye zvimwe zvakanaka zvinoitika mupfungwa zvichienzaniswa neavo vanozvitongesa zvakaomarara (semuenzaniso, Neff, 2003).

Razvino basa rinoratidza kuti kuzvinzwira tsitsi kunogona zvakare kubatsira zvakanyanya kune hukama hwehukama. Hunhu chaihwo hwekuzvinzwira tsitsi sechivako hunosimbisa kubatana kwevanhu kune vamwe vanhu kunofanira kureva kuti kune mibairo yakanaka muhukama hwepedyo. Kubva pane ichi chirevo, Neff naBeretvas (2013) vakaongorora kana kuzvinzwira tsitsi kwaive kwakabatana nehunhu hwakanaka hwehukama muhukama hwepabonde, sekunyanya kuve nehanya uye kutsigira nevakabatana. Ivo vakatora vangangoita zana vevakaroora pakudzidza kwavo uye vakaongorora mashumo evamwe vanhu ekuzvinzwira tsitsi vakafanotaura maonero evavo vevamwe vavo nezvehunhu hwavo muhukama. Vakaona kuti vanhu vanozvinzwira tsitsi vanoratidzira hunhu hwakanaka hwehukama - senge kuva nehanya uye kutsigira, uye nekutaura kushoma kana kudzora - kupfuura avo vaive vasina tsitsi zvakanyanya. Kupfuura izvozvo, vanhu vazhinji vanozvinzwira tsitsi nevamwe vavo yakashuma zvakakwirira zvikamu zvehukama hwese hukama hwakanaka.

Iyi bhenefiti inoratidzika kunge inowedzera kuhukama hunopfuura hukama hwehukama zvakare: Vanenge mazana mashanu evadzidzi vekoreji vakanyora nezve inguva apo zvido zvavo zvakauya zvichipesana neavo vemumwe munhu wavaifarira - amai vavo, baba, shamwari yepamwoyo, kana mudiwa. Vadzidzi vakabva vataura nezvekuti vakagadzirisa sei kusawirirana, manzwiro avakaita pamusoro pekugadziriswa, uye manzwiro avo achiongorora kugara kwehukama hwese. Pakati pehukama hwese hwakaongororwa, mazinga epamusoro ekuzvinzwira tsitsi aive nehukama nemukana mukuru wekukanganisa kugadzirisa kusawirirana; kunzwa kukuru kwechokwadi uye kusagadzikana kwepfungwa pamusoro pekugadzirisa gakava; uye epamusoro matanho ehukama hukama (Yarnell & Neff, 2013).

Saka zvinoita sekunge kuzvida iwe ndizvo nzira yakakosha yekusimudzira kugona kwako kuda vamwe — asi rudo rwega rwekuzvimiririra runoita sekukosha hakusi kungozvishingisa, kana kunzwa kunakirwa iwe pachako ; kugona kwako kunzwira tsitsi akananga iwe pachako izvo zvine basa, zvikanganiso uye zvese.

Campbell, W.K, & Baumeister, R. F. (2004). Kuda wega kunodiwa here kuti ude mumwe? Kuongororwa kwekuzivikanwa uye kushamwaridzana. Muna M. B. Brewer & M. Hewstone (Eds.), Kuzviziva uye kugarisana kwevanhu (pp. 78-98). Malden, MA: Kuburitsa kweBlackwell.

Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Collins, N. L. (2006). Kugonesa kuvimbisa: iyo njodzi yekugadzirisa maitiro muhukama. Psychological bulletin, 132 (5), 641.

Neff, K. (2003). Kuzvinzwira urombo: Imwe nzira yekufunga nezvehunhu hwakanaka kune iwe pachako. Kuzviziva uye Kuzivikanwa, 2, 85-101.

Neff, KD. & Beretvas, N. (2013) Basa rekuzvinzwira tsitsi muhukama hweRomantic, Kuzviziva uye Kuzivikanwa, 12: 1, 78-98.

Yarnell, L. M., & Neff, K. D. (2013). Kuzvinzwira tsitsi, kugadzirisa kusawirirana pakati pevanhu, uye kugara zvakanaka. Kuzviziva uye Kuzivikanwa, 12 (2), 146-159.